A Simple Method for Judging Compatibility

First, I wish to thank all of you who offered me material for future posts on how synastry works in real life. In fact, I was surprised at the response though I don’t know why . . . loving and being loved is central in most people’s lives, in my observation. It sure is in mine and has been all my life!

I thought I would share a simple method I use for getting a feel for what’s going on between two people’s charts. What is interesting is how accurate this method often is. I’ve been attempting to remember where I first came across this idea but for once, my so retentive Mercury in Scorpio memory hasn’t brought the info to the surface. It was many years ago when I found this that much I do know.

This method is based on Sign only, no degrees, no birth time or place required – just access to an ephemeris. Astro.com has a great one available on the home page of their website. Here is a link to the ephemeris page: 6,000 year ephemeris What you do is compare the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars of each individual. I will see if I can get an example posted in table form:

Individual “A” Individual “B”
Sun in Aries opposite Moon in Libra
Moon in Aries opposite Sun in Libra
Moon in Aries opposite Moon in Libra
Mercury in Aries inconjunct Mercury in Scorpio
Mars in Scorpio semi-sextile Venus in Sagittarius
Venus in Pisces t rine Mars in Scorpio

Yes, this is me and my S/O. As you can see this is largely a relationship of complements – and since we’ve been together for 17 years, happily I might add, so it works. The key to the opposition aspect is to always remember the Signs involved are in compatible elements. Plus it does seem to work better between partners of the opposite sex for some reason. The most problematical aspect is the inconjunct between our Mercury’s. Aries is Cardinal Fire and Scorpio is Fixed Water . . . and I swear the man is talking in a foreign language sometimes! What helps here is having my Mercury on my ASC, giving it prominence in my chart and Scorpio is a natural at sussing out meanings. Otherwise, we would be scratching our heads wondering what the heck the other person just said more often.

Give this method a try with your partners, family members, friends, etc. I did as many of my family as I had birth dates for and was fascinated how accurate the results were. A curious aside: Cancers tend to stay in relationships where others would have left long ago. They seem to like being with someone whose Sun or Moon squares theirs. Anyone have any thoughts as to why this is?

As a general rule of thumb, squares between the luminaries are the most problematical, followed by the inconjunct. This has to do with the Signs being in traditionally incompatible Elements making it difficult to understand the other. Since the Moon is all about ingrained habit patterns and our automatic emotional responses, it makes the path to compromise that much harder. Now Venus/Mars squares can add excitement . . . Mercury squares vary with the individuals response to challenges. Some people enjoy a good “discussion” and others dislike them very much.

Have fun with this and give us feedback if you wish!

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33 responses to “A Simple Method for Judging Compatibility

  1. I’m a big believer in complements. Or, as our grandparents used to say, “opposites attract.”I have also found that aspects between Venus and Mars are critical for long-lasting sexual chemistry. For most heterosexual couples, a favorable aspect between the woman’s Venus and the man’s Mars is a near fool-proof indicator, although many astrologers think it can work the other way around, too. I certainly don’t doubt this in the case of same-sex couples.I’ve always remembered the wise words of my acupuncturist, who said that sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. So many people are initially attracted, then the chemistry wears off, but rather than confronting it, they start bickering, and usually about things that have nothing to do with the real problem. The trouble is, knowing in advance isn’t really that useful. It’s hard to imagine that a young couple with raging hormones would believe an astrologer who told them they had no chemistry.Anyway, this is really great, Neith. It covers the basics, and when you’ve got this, you can usually deal with the rest.

  2. The trouble is, knowing in advance isn’t really that useful. It’s hard to imagine that a young couple with raging hormones would believe an astrologer who told them they had no chemistry.Right to the heart of the matter! The teens & twenties are ripe for this sort of issue when the biological imperative to reproduce is in full spate. We tend to overlook all kinds of important things under the influence of this . . . like Uranus square Moon, etc. 🙂

  3. The key to the opposition aspect is to always remember the Signs involved are in compatible elements. Plus it does seem to work better between partners of the opposite sex for some reason.My Aries and I (same sex) have our core planets/stelliums opposing each other:She has (yes, folks, get a load of THIS!): Sun, Moon, Asc, Venus and Point of Fortune in ARIES.Across the wheel, I have: Sun, North Node, Mars, Merc conjunct in LIBRA.That puts my South Node in her Aries stellium.She further has her Vertex in my Libra stellium.So far, we are so smooth together, it dazzles! Even our differences get worked on and worked out smoothly.We simply feed each other, back and forth, *incessantly*.Her sun shines on me, and mine on her, and holy cow, we SEE CLEARLY with all that light!!!!

  4. My parents (married 55 years next week) are another good illustration of this: His Aquarius Sun opposes her Leo Moon and her Capricorn Sun opposes his Cancer Moon. Their ascendants also oppose each other. So there they are 55 years later, despite the fact that Sun sign astrology suggests they should never have lasted.

  5. Thank you Neith for sharing this method! I wonder what your opinion is on the following. I´m person A he is B. Soooo many squares. Any hope with the couple of sextiles and that trine? I know you didn´t include the NN, but maybe it helps. Please don´t hold back if you think it is a disaster, ha ha. Sun in Libra squares Sun in CapricornSun in Libra squares Moon in CancerSun in Libra inconjunct Mars in PiscesVenus in Virgo squares Venus in SagittariusMoon in Pisces squares Venus in SagittariusMoon in Pisces sextile Mercury in CapricornMars in Leo trine Venus in SagittariusMars in Leo inconjunct Mercury in CapricornMercury in Libra squares Mercury in Capricorn NN Taurus sextile NN Pisces

  6. So far, we are so smooth together, it dazzles! Even our differences get worked on and worked out smoothly.This is good to know. We need all the input we can get on same sex relationships because they often get ignored in most traditional astrological writings on synastry. Of course, that means we are also ignoring a rather sizable segment of our population . . .I’m filing all this away in my Merc in Scorp databank . . . thanks, my friend!! 🙂

  7. My parents (married 55 years next week) are another good illustration of this: His Aquarius Sun opposes her Leo Moon and her Capricorn Sun opposes his Cancer Moon. Their ascendants also oppose each other. So there they are 55 years later, despite the fact that Sun sign astrology suggests they should never have lasted.I love this!! 🙂 What a marvelous example of how real astrology works. The ASC/DES axis flip is a classic indicator of a solid partnership since each person is the balance of the other. Thanks for sharing this bit of astro data with us, j.!!

  8. Sun in Libra squares Moon in CancerThis is the one with the greatest “ouch” factor, Analysa. I know because I’ve been the Libra Sun person in this arrangement before. Two Cardinal signs, one Air & one Water, and it’s like they come from two completely different worlds. Oddly enough, Libra/Capricorn manage better because they have this shared sense of social appropriateness.

  9. How would you summarize that “ouch” factor, because I thought maybe it is my Moon in Pisces and his in Cancer, even if not in aspect, but emotionally feels very harmonious. And what is then the glue that has kept it together for so long, would that be the trine between Mars and Venus?

  10. My pleasure, Neith! Here’s some data from one of my relationships (I sent you an email, so you may have already seen this):Sag Sun square Pisces SunSag Sun opposite Gemini MoonSag Sun trine Aries MercurySag Sun sextile Aquarius VenusSag Sun square Pisces MarsGemini Moons conjunctGemini Moon square Pisces SunGemini Moon sextile Aries MercuryGemini Moon trine Aquarius VenusGemini Moon square Pisces MarsSag Mercury square Pisces SunSag Mercury opposite Gemini MoonSag Mercury trine Aries MercurySag Mercury sextile Aquarius VenusSag Mercury square Pisces MarsSag Venus-well, let’s just say it hits all the same planets that the Sag Sun hitsTaurus Mars sextile Pisces SunTaurus Mars square Aquarius VenusTaurus Mars semi-sextile Aries MercuryTaurus Mars semi-sextile Gemini MoonTaurus Mars sextile Pisces SunWhew.This is not a romantic relationship, but it’s an incredibly emotional one that we both seem to have a hard time letting go of. It has always felt like an incredibly significant connection to me. There is a lot of laughter, but also a lot of tears. I would love to find a way to have a more stable relationship with this man, but I cannot for the life of me seem to be able to figure out how to do it. We get each other (we also have conjunct ASCs) and being with him makes me happy (our suns trine each others’ Jupiters, as well), but he seems to be unable to stick around for very long. And yet he doesn’t seem able to say good-bye either. (Pisces Sun/Gemini Moon, perhaps?) He claims I want too much. Of course, he also claims I shouldn’t believe what he tells me. I love talking to him though, and I’d hate to say good-bye but the on-again-off-again nature of the relationship is taking a toll.Anybody see any hope here, or have any suggestions on what kind of relationship might actually work for us?

  11. And what is then the glue that has kept it together for so long, would that be the trine between Mars and Venus?Being your basic visual person, I had to rewrite this in a format my mind could easily make sense of . . . :-)After doing that, it’s obvious you two have good rapport. With your Moons trine in Water Signs, it makes it easy to share a living space – and that’s very important to sensitive Water sign Moons. When the Moons are square by sign, the situation can be one of those where the people love each other but can’t stand to live together!

  12. I´m just attempting to understand this from an astrological angle but find it much easier to use my intuition, plus some past life info has also been real helpful. We don´t live together, in fact, due to circumstances we don´t see each other that much. We lead very different lives but there is something real deep that connects. I don´t know if squares are supposed to create arguments, but we rarely argue, too little time for that. From the beginning we accepted our differences, they never became an issue. He started his Pluto transit and I sense the positive changes taking place. I wonder when Pluto hits his 2º Capricorn Sun if it will be powerful enough for him to let go of his SN. Neith thanks for the insights.

  13. This is for research, right?hmmm…you know my last one. I can’t remember his birthtime anymore. I had to hunt for the year. His appearance suggests to me, however, that he could have been a Pisces rising. (Tall, thin, elegant cheekbones, gray-blue eyes, dark wavy hair, spacey and kind with a great voice)Sun in Pisces with Moon in Taurus directly on my Asc.Chiron and Mercury in Pisces directly on my Venus/N.N.Venus in late degree Aries.Mars in Cancer directly on my Uranus. Neptune in Scorpio directly on my Moon/Mars conj.Uranus in Leo directly on my Pluto.Jupiter in Aquarius conj. Saturn in Capricorn. (that’s a big hmmmmm from me)His wife is an Aries.

  14. Sun in Pisces with Moon in Taurus directly on my Asc.Chiron and Mercury in Pisces directly on my Venus/N.N.Neptune in Scorpio directly on my Moon/Mars conj.these aspects say it all . . . deep, almost psychic communication, merging that Pisces finds so nourishing to their watery souls. You did note the Chiron involvement . . . and we know the outcome there. {{{{Casey}}}BTW, I’m a sucker for a great set of cheekbones too especially if they have dimples below them. 🙂

  15. He started his Pluto transit and I sense the positive changes taking place. I wonder when Pluto hits his 2º Capricorn Sun if it will be powerful enough for him to let go of his SN.If there is a force that can shift a person’s focus off the SN, it’s Pluto. That guy is incredibly persistent – Pluto transits can take place over 5 yrs.

  16. I don’t know if he had dimples…he had a very full beard the whole time I knew him. Looked like George Harrison with all that hair. He also looked a great deal like Abe Lincoln. He considered himself gangly and quite homely. After a while I only saw his eyes.

  17. i’m enjoying reading the posts here, so i thought i’d contribute my two cents worth :-)given that there is only one opposition, one square, and three conjuncts, what could be said of this pairing? is it a little too saccharin? or a good fit? or neutral?Sun cancer sextile Venus virgoMoon gemini conj Moon geminiMoon gemini square Venus virgoMoon gemini conj Mars geminiMercury cancer semisextile Sun leoMercury cancer quintile Venus virgoVenus gemini sextile Sun leoVenus gemini conj Moon geminiVenus gemini sextile Mercury leoVenus gemini conj Mars geminiMars saggitarius trine Sun leoMars saggitarius opp Moon geminiMars saggitarius trine Mercury leo

  18. interesting, violet, but none of the big heavy-hitting planets are involved…not sure how that would affect a relationship. after the easy first-attractions are commonplace, what binds you together?

  19. casey, i stuck to the inner five planet configuration that Neith recommended. if by heavy hitting planets you mean the outer slower moving planets, well there are many aspects between Saturn in this pairing. here is one i’ll share A’s Saturn taurus square B’s Saturn aquarius.B’s Saturn aquarius square A’s Saturn taurusin otherwords, both of the individuals’ Saturn squares the other’s Saturn.btw i am not in relationship with this person. although i cop to the fact that i entertain the idea of it. ;- }

  20. btw i am not in relationship with this person. although i cop to the fact that i entertain the idea of it. ;- }Looks good to me!! 😀

  21. My S/O and I have our Suns, Moons, Mercurys and Asc’s in the same elements. I think this makes a world of difference: water suns, air moons, earth risings, water Mercury’s. My Venus and her Mars are in Pisces, yet my Mars and her Venus are inconjunct by sign. Her Mars is conjunct my Sun –> she kicks my ass, as my teacher told me. My Jupiter conjoins her Sun. Our Venus’s oppose each other by sign. The Sun/Moon synastry isn’t great: My sun inconjuncts her Moon by sign, and her sun squares my moon by sign. However, we’ve been together 15 years, can’t be all that bad. Probably what keeps us together is similar perspectives (the element similarities).

  22. A curious aside: Cancers tend to stay in relationships where others would have left long ago. They seem to like being with someone whose Sun or Moon squares theirs. Anyone have any thoughts as to why this is?I love this post! I just wanted to comment very quickly on this aside. Could be that Cancers “stay” because of a general refusal to let go of anything… but I like your comment about squares. I have Libra Sun (29 degrees, perhaps like yours?) but Cancer rising, and I’ve always been drawn to Cancers… and I suppose they are to me. I’m in a relationship with a Cancer now and we also have squared Mercuries… but because he has Scorpio rising and we both have hard Saturn-Sun aspects, I think we like challenges. It’s not as if I can’t feel the square-disconnects sometimes, but generally there’s such fascination and such love that I wonder why squares are considered so bad in synastry. In any case, I hope you’re right about Cancers liking to stay with Sun squares!

  23. I almost forgot…. we have a degree-perfect Taurus Mars – Venus Virgo trine. OH, it’s lovely. That helps. And mutable moons, one fire, one air.But would love any suggestions on what/how to help smooth over squared personal-planet differences../

  24. I’m experiencing one of these relationships of opposition too. It’s been very intense, and very frustrating at times, but it has a feeling of being right none-the-less. Here’s what we’ve got going on:His sun in cancer oppose my moon in capricornMy sun in libra oppose his moon in aries.His mars trines my venusour mars are in trineour venuses are squaremy venus sextiles his jupitermy mercury opposes his moonmy venus conjuncts his plutomy mars opposes his jupitermy jupiter trines his moonmy saturn sextiles his moonhis aries moon conjuncts my aries descendantIt’s an interesting situation to say the least. Fortunately our suns don’t actually square but we have that libra/cancer element clash that has made for some very stubborn exchanges.

  25. Hi Liz!Looks like you two have lots of good aspects, and oppositions [complements] often work well between men & women. Yes, i agree about Libra/Cancer – very different energies there all right. :-)Squares, conjunctions from Uranus are often the aspects most inclined to break up relationships.

  26. Good Morning Neith,I am new here, and i was wondering what you thought of this combination. I am person “A””A” Aspect “B” Sun Square Moon Sun Trine Uranus Moon Sextile MercuryMoon Trine Neptune Moon Opposition Pluto Moon Opposition Midheaven Mars Conjunction Neptune Mars Conjunction Ascendant Jupiter Conjunction Neptune Jupiter Conjunction Ascendant Jupiter Sextile Midheaven Saturn Trine Sun Saturn Sextile Mars Uranus Square SunUranus Conjunction Uranus Neptune Conjunction Neptune Neptune Conjunction Ascendant Neptune Sextile Midheaven Pluto Trine Mercury Pluto Sextile Neptune Pluto Conjunction Pluto Pluto Conjunction Midheaven

  27. Me again,If you don’t mind, i have another romantic relationship i am curious about. I am in a situation where it is time to choose, and i am so confused. Anyhow, here it is – again i represent person “A”:”A” Aspect “B” Moon Square Moon Moon Opposition Venus Moon Trine NeptuneMercury Conjunction MarsMercury Square Jupiter Venus Sextile Sun Venus Square PlutoMars Sextile Mercury Mars Sextile Uranus Mars Sextile MidheavenSaturn Trine Mars Uranus Conjunction Jupiter Uranus Sextile Ascendant Pluto Square Moon Pluto Conjunction VenusPluto Conjunction PlutoI really appreciate your help. I am an Aquarius and things are really confusing for me right now.Kind Regards,

  28. I really appreciate your help. I am an Aquarius and things are really confusing for me right now.Hi slrw,If you don’t mind, please send me all the birth data. It’s easier for me to see what’s going on using a biwheel chart . . . I have my contact info set up here:contact Neith[avoid the spam crawlers that way]Thanks!!Is Neptune in Aquarius transiting your Sun? Or other planets/angles in Aquarius? That’s always good for creating confusion . . . 🙂

  29. Hello Neith, Here is a twin flame situation, i believe because this has never happened to me before, out of the blue,Sun exact opposition Sun Cancer me, Capricorn he mars trine Venus Venus square Moon Mars conjunct Moon Mars conjunct Uranus Sun contraparallel Neptune Venus contraparallel Sun Venus Opposite Sun Moon trine Sun Moon taurus Moon Scorpio Mars sextile Mars Saturn square Mars Venus sesquare Neptune Saturn quincucx Venus Moon Conjunct Jupiter Uranus opposite Mars Vertex conjunct IC Mercury sextile Mars/Mercury Moon in his 2nd Moon in my 12th

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