Attraction to Co-worker, What is this about?

This post is in response to a question of one of my readers. She is finding a growing attraction to a co-worker and is in the process of deciding what to do about her situation. She’s been married for many years and feels there is little left for her in the marriage. She is a Capricorn whose Sun is at 3 degrees and is beginning to experience Pluto’s transit to her Sun. Her husband is a 29 degree Cancer Sun and her co-worker is a zero degree Libra Sun. Yes, her co-worker is also being affected by Pluto by transit as is her husband.

I looked at the synastry between the various parties using my short-hand method and it was immediately apparent why she feels so comfortable with her co-worker. They both have Moon in Sagittarius so it makes sense they would enjoy the same day to day activities and know what to do to make the other feel liked and appreciated. Their Mercury’s are trine – her Mercury is in Capricorn and his in Virgo. Again this is a plus for ease of communication as they have harmonious patterns of thinking. There is chemistry between them too with her Venus in Scorpio & his Mars in Scorpio – yes, that would be an understatement!! With his Venus in Libra and her Mars in Leo adding to the energy exchange, it’s more than obvious there is a strong pull there.

The exchange between their Suns & Moons is OK too. Her Capricorn Sun is semi-sextile his Sagittarius Moon and his Libra Sun is sextile her Sagittarius Moon. Sextiles are what I consider a “friendly” aspect because the signs are in compatible elements, in this case Fire & Air. Semi-sextiles are between neighboring signs and have at least an understanding of each other though they are in different elements. The semi-sextile in this case is easily balanced by the rest of positive aspects.

With her husband, the flow is there but no where to the degree it is with her co-worker. His Cancer Sun is inconjunct her Sagittarius Moon and her Cappy Sun is square his Libra Moon. They do have a sextile aspect between their Moons making it easy for them to share a home. However there is another inconjunct between their Mercury’s – his is in Leo and her in Capricorn. The inconjunct or quincunx is a tough aspect to reconcile because the Signs are not in compatible elements and they tend to be very different in nature. There are moments when it works but then you hit one the places where the teeth in the gear are missing and things grind to a halt.

As to be expected, there is some chemistry between these two. His Mars in Taurus is opposite her Venus in Scorpio and her Mars in Leo is semi-sextile to his Venus in Cancer. Please note they have a square between their Mars Signs . . . in Fixed Sign no less. This can indicate a stalemate when it comes to deciding how to go about something.

I did check for clues as to why she married him initially with some interesting results. She did not have an exact birth time for him so we couldn’t look at the Vertex or the Angles. However, his Cancer Sun is exactly conjunct her North Node in Cancer – always a strong connection between people. Plus his Saturn in Sagittarius is conjunct her Moon. This is often as aspect that can feel extremely comforting and supportive on first meeting. It is only over time that the Saturn person can start to feel constrictive and authoritarian to the Moon. His Mars in Taurus is exactly conjunct her Midheaven and I see this as a repeat of the pattern of Saturn/Moon. He represents authority and security to her . . . or at least he did when she was much younger.

As I stated I am not going to offer advice or make any judgments about this situation. I’m sure it is difficult for all parties and I wish them all well and a peaceful and happy resolution. When Pluto moves into Capricorn after the first of the year, they will have plenty to think about . . .

Yes, I’m having fun with images of Tarot cards . . . 🙂
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7 responses to “Attraction to Co-worker, What is this about?

  1. There is a Remedios Varo (my favorite painter — an Spanish surrealist who lived in Mexico after WWII) did a painting where two lovers sit on a bench entwined while they have no faces. Just two mirrors reflecting themselves back to each other. Gave me a whole new perspective of romantic love.http://www.honmex.com/eros/varo/varo50.htm

  2. My advice would be tell them to try to proceed with honor to themselves and their respective situations — anything else is doomed.

  3. I don’t judge on the moral side of the issue, but my caveat on office affairs is unwavering:If you’re pretty sure it’s love — as sure as a person can be, anyway — then go ahead, risks be damned. True love is worth whatever price is demanded. If it’s not a relationship that you could see withstanding the test of time, then forget it — unless you hate your job and need an excuse to quit. When an office affair gets exposed, someone invariably is hurt. It’s usually the junior person, who is the most expendable, but depending on office politics and who finds out, a manager having an affair with someone down the food chain could end up in serious hot water. Even if you’re both of equal status, problems can arise, especially if and when it gets to the point that one of you has had enough. The awkwardness of having to come to work and interact with each other every day is painful enough, but let’s face it, most affairs don’t end by mutal agreement, on friendly terms. The potential complications are limitless.Physical attraction arises at the office because most of us don’t spend much time anywhere else (especially if you’re already married). Attempting to keep a lid on it makes it all the more exciting, and fantasies can start getting out of control. Someone who’s married and so attracted to a coworker that she’s thinking of leaving her husband needs to think about that first, without the added complication of an affair. Nine times out of ten, an attraction like this falls apart once it has served its purpose, which may be no more than bringing a person’s attention to the fact that they’re not happy in their marriage.If so, there are better ways to get out of it than risking your job.I’ve had two office affairs in my life. The first was with a married man, and it was disastrous. The second time, we were both single and available, and he became my partner for seven years.

  4. Thanks for chiming in, ladies! Good points all. And I completely agree how important it is to honor oneself & others . . . doomed is right. 🙂

  5. Neith, sorry, I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds, here. It’s just that I’ve seen this situation go south more often than not.Consulting an astrologer is definitely a good thing to do at a time like this. A compatibility report is invaluable, as it answers the question of whether there’s more than just a fleeting physical attraction. In the case you described, there obviously is.The second thing I would recommend is a transit report, and I’d recommend looking at the transits for both people involved. Suppose, for example, that one of them had a planet in the twelfth house in the mid degrees of a mutable sign, and right now we’ve got Uranus in the mid degrees of Pisces. That would not bode well for keeping the affair a secret, and so that might be something that the client might want to consider before getting further involved.Again, by way of personal example, when I was working as a young reporter in Washington, D.C., I met many very sexy, powerful men with whom I had instant attractions, and I knew it went both ways. A couple of them might well have become long-term partners, but for the fact that I already was in a committed relationship and very devoted. I learned from that experience that it’s possible to be extremely attracted to other men even when you’re with someone you really love. What you do about it (or don’t do) is a personal choice.Anyway, that’s just a long way of repeating that the synastry report is only half the picture. The transit report is critical in a situation like this. And your rates are reasonable enough that anyone facing such a difficult choice could easily afford both and would be wise to do so.

  6. Neith, sorry, I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds, here. It’s just that I’ve seen this situation go south more often than not.No worries, Pat. I’m a firm believer in experiential advice being the best there is. You have first hand knowledge and that’s always a good thing IMO.And you are right on about a transit report too. I usually throw a comment or two in about current transits but that’s no substitute for a report that is devoted to transits.

  7. When i listen you two (Neith and Pat) my mind starts racing…i’ve said before you guys could make a terrific venue that would be authentic and amazing – compared to say astrodotcom.Shhhhh…. wait, we can think about these things in the shadow of mercury.

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