The Inconjunct in Synastry

There has been discussion about the Inconjunct (150° degree aspect) in synastry and soul mates but I’m not going to go there since this is outside my personal experience realm. I’m going to discuss the possibilities inherent in everyday interactions when people have the personal planets inconjunct by sign in synastry. We are under the aegis of Earth now and it is nuts and bolts time, not ideology that is asked for.

A reasonably typical scenario is when two people are attracted to each other with red hot chemistry shown by strong Venus/Mars aspects between them. However when we look at the way the Luminaries and Mercury relate we find the inconjunct showing up. Let’s start with what happens when the Luminaries (the Sun & Moon) are inconjunct.

If person A has Sun in Gemini and person B has their Moon in Scorpio, the Gemini Sun will feel like all their efforts to relate are falling into a black hole of the Scorpio Moon. Gemini likes to keep things light and chatty and someone with Moon in Scorpio goes for brooding and secretive. There is a stark difference in style here and the possibility of the Sun person inadvertently offending the Moon person just by walking their walk and talking their talk is high. There is a better chance for the relationship to succeed if person B’s Sun is conjunct, sextile or trine person A’s Moon because it will give them a way to work around the differences shown by the inconjunct.

When the Moons are inconjunct, the greatest obstacle is the nature of the way the Moon operates in our charts. The Moon shows our habit patterns and our emotional response, often in an unconscious way. For instance, someone with Moon in Virgo is going to have difficulty living around a Moon in Aries person. Virgo is inclined to be very private about what they feel and slow to commit and fiery Aries just jumps right in and wants to know when they can move in! Earth and Fire have very different priorities around the home. Practical workarounds usually require lots of space, patience and negotiation. It’s also helpful if there are flowing aspects to the Moons from other planets in the synastry.

Mercury inconjuncts I do know a little about because that I have experience with. My Mercury in Scorpio is inconjunct my SO’s Mercury/Jupiter conjunction in Aries. The saving grace for me is Mercury is very strong in my chart and communicating well has been a long time focus for me, otherwise the frustration level would be much greater! Here’s an example: my mind is very slow to wake up, so telling me something important first thing after I wake up is usually not a good idea. Mercury in Aries wakes up totally engaged and ready to rock and roll. We learned to wait until I’ve been up for at least an hour before talking over critical matters – but it was tough to break our instinctive patterns of communicating.

Mars/Venus inconjuncts often indicates difficulties in timing. One person is exhausted or has other demands on their time, or they just aren’t in the mood, etc, etc. If the rest of the synastry is great, this can be consciously worked around even if it doesn’t feel very romantic.

Patience and a good astrologer can be very helpful when it comes to sorting out ways to work with inconjuncts in synastry. Knowing what’s going on is often the key to helping us be more understanding and considerate of each other. So if your lover is frustrating the heck out of you and you want to gain some insight as to ways to resolve it, collect your birth data and see an astrologer . . .

This is the Temperance tarot card from the Lover’s Path deck. Vulcan and Venus are an excellent example of very different types having to find a way to relate.

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9 responses to “The Inconjunct in Synastry

  1. Hi Neith! Nice post….I can comment on inconjunct Moons from personal experience. My boyfriend and I have inconjunct Moons, mine in late Scorpio and his in late Aries. We’ve been together almost 12 years and lived together about 4 years. Since the Moon is related so much to habits, that’s where it shows up: in personal habits. We don’t go to sleep at the same time, or get hungry at the same time or want the same things to eat. So it takes a lot of acceptance and patience and being nonjudgmental to not get annoyed. Happily we have lots of other helpful aspects to smooth the way and and also in many ways we both appreciate the individual freedom we have inside this relationship.

  2. Hi linea! What a great example of how astrology can help smooth the way for a couple and how the inconjunct works!! Thanks!! One of the things I love about using astrology as a tool for greater understanding is we can say “the Moons are inconjunct and that’s why we have such different daily habit patterns”. Practicing being non-judgemental stands us in good stead in all aspects of our lives too.

  3. I like it that you consider the domestic part of this reality. It’s not the kind of thing one thinks about when meeting someone but it becomes so important.

  4. I like it that you consider the domestic part of this reality. It’s not the kind of thing one thinks about when meeting someone but it becomes so important.Probably has to do with having Moon conjunct Neptune in Libra sextile Saturn/Pluto. Domestic issues have been mine fields for me over the years and I need tranquility in my home space!

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  6. Hi Neith,Fascinating post. All your posts are brilliant but I particularly loved your insights on the inconjunct. Its hard to find disscussions and info on it because it is a funny lil aspect. I love what you said on your home page about it but I relate to the synasty part more because its so promient for me.Many of my friends (2 of my closest friends) are inconjunct my sun (one is a Gemini, the other Aries). One of my many patterns is continually meeting Aries and Gemini people, so Im continually dealing with the inconjunct. I notice the frustration of this aspect more when I met a crush of one these signs. I particularly fell for a Gemini a year or so ago. Whom I was completely intrigued and a attracted to which came at no surprise when I discovered we had a venus/venus opposition which included both our plutos. My sun was 1 degree conjunct his moon and we had postive affintities with our mercury and mars aspects. However this inconjunct always created a stumbling block. Always difficulty just approaching each other and always missing each other with timing or talking. Like ships meaning to met but passing each other in the night.It was the funniest thing I ever experieced but frustrating at times. I guess the aspect can neither spice things up or just annoy you depending on the day!

  7. .. I find the inconjunct attractive .. interesting .. mesmerizing .. but I don't know much about it & it's not the first thing I look for when I'm comparing my chart to other people's .. .. I have recently learned of Chiron & now I just see my Sun is quincunx my Chiron .. ….. I must explore what this means ..

  8. Would a moon in Libra inconjunct some other person's Sun in Taurus be any easier than the Gemini/Scorpio example since they are both ruled by Venus? Or is this wishful thinking?

  9. Hi beccaforste!Would a moon in Libra inconjunct some other person's Sun in Taurus be any easier than the Gemini/Scorpio example since they are both ruled by Venus? Or is this wishful thinking?In my own experience with my Moon in Libra inconjunct a Taurus Sun, has been favorable overall. In general, Taurus and Libra has more points of understanding due to Venus. The primary difference is elemental – earth & air – tangible vs mental. Taurus tends to believe in what can be accessed by the physical senses while Libra loves the possibilities of an idea. Air signs Moons often live in their heads, not easy for well grounded in reality types like Taurus to understand.

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