Waking up this morning to Venus back in Libra and an email from a reader asking about sextiles and trines in synastry, it seems like an excellent time to take a look at the difference between these two harmonious aspects in synastry vs. in the natal chart.
We find trines between signs in the same element and sextiles between friendly elements, i.e., air signs Gemini and Libra are trine and air sign Gemini is sextile fire sign Leo. In essence this makes a dialogue between those signs pleasant and the ability to find common ground easy.
In a natal chart dominated by these two aspects, the native can tend towards complacency and have little need to be assertive because most of his/her needs are easily met. It is our squares, oppositions and quincunxes that irritate us into action. Of course, if one has plenty of cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) in their natal chart, those will help prod the native to get going too. Ideally we will have both tension producing and harmonious aspects . . . a balance, says Libra. *grin*
However, when looking at the synastry between charts, those same two aspects often make it possible for two individuals to enjoy each others company. I know one of the first things I look at when comparing charts is the relationship between the Sun in one chart and the Moon in the other. If the luminaries are conjunct, sextile or trine by sign, I feel those provide a solid foundation of common ground and mutual appreciation.
For example, a Leo Sun person will find a Sagittarius Moon person far more enjoyable to be around than a Scorpio Moon. The Moon in Sagittarius is happy to laugh at Leo’s jokes and both fire signs enjoy an active social life with the volume turned up high. A Scorpio Moon is far more reclusive and is very sensitive to boisterous behavior especially in their home.
It is a rare individual who thrives on a steady diet of challenge and strife. Most of us prefer to at least some down time and often seek that with our significant other. That is where the ease of harmonious aspects in synastry is very important. If we have a stressful day at work and come home to a very challenging relationship, sooner or later something will give . . . usually the relationship.
Saturn in Libra transits are “encouraging” all of us to review our relationships now. Are we compromising too much for the sake of peace? Or, conversely, are we not willing to compromise at all. Those trines and sextiles give us an avenue to approach our partners and discuss sensitive issues. The challenging aspects can make for excitement but are not much help for finding points of compromise.
In a VERY general sense, an individual with plenty of cardinal signs and a strong Mars are more tolerant of tension in their relationships while those with fixed signs and a prominent Venus go for more harmony. Lots of Neptune aspects to the personal planets increases sensitivity and Uranus aspects promote a “me first” attitude and a liking for excitement. The mutables can go either way . . . LOL.
Astrology is a very useful tool for determining whether or not we look for challenging relationships or harmonious ones. I know with a Sun and Moon in Libra, Venus in the first house and Neptune conjoining my Moon, I need those trines and sextiles in the synastry with my significant other.
How about you? Any idea of how you roll when it comes to relationships? Do you need peace or excitement?
Libra Seeking Balance 
I need a little of both, but not too much. And if my SO and I are together for too many hours, we start getting on each others’ nerves. Being engaged in our own pursuits is a healthy medium!
I suspect once the initial phase of the relationship where we want to be with our lover 24-7 passes, most of us benefit from time to pursue our own interests. Often this is mutual too.
Just realized when Venus stations direct next week, it will do so on your Mars-Uranus conj. I like that for seeing continued improvement with your “mapping”. Your progress is amazing so far and here’s to that trend continuing!! 😀
xo diane~
I’m sure the reason my bf and I can spend so much time together easily is all the sextiles we have, plus trine between my Moon his Sun and (widely) my Sun his Moon. We also have an out-of-sign square, too, that puts the planets in compatible signs (well, and an out-of-sign trine with planets in incompatible elements!). We have some more challenging aspects to keep it interesting, but mostly they’re not bad either. My Leo Moon/Uranus conjunction likes excitement, my other planets not so much.
I’m sure the reason my bf and I can spend so much time together easily is all the sextiles we have, plus trine between my Moon his Sun and (widely) my Sun his Moon.
Sextiles are the friendly aspects because the signs have a nice blend of commonalities and differences to keep things interesting. As you noted, your Moon-Uranus conj does need those differences to thrive and your other planets not so much, therefore lots of sextiles in the synastry really works for you.
xo diane~
I was wondering what you thought about midpoints in synastry?
I have a wide square between my sun and moon, my partners Gemini sun is a degree away from exactly conjunct the midpoint.
His Gemini mercury is a degree away from an exact conjunction to my moon/mercury midpoint, these planets are also tightly squared in my natal.
Our luminaries don’t really connect by degree in any other way, although they do by sign.
Hi Autumn,
I have a wide square between my sun and moon, my partners Gemini sun is a degree away from exactly conjunct the midpoint.
His Gemini mercury is a degree away from an exact conjunction to my moon/mercury midpoint, these planets are also tightly squared in my natal.
This is a great example of midpoints in action. While I don’t look for midpoints right off, if the relationship is obviously working well and some of the usual aspects to the Luminaries are not there, then I start checking midpoints, particularly the Sun-Moon midpoint (it’s the “biggie” of midpoints). Tight orbs like you describe are the key to any of the calculated points – Vertex, Nodes, etc – and conjunctions are THE aspect to those points.
xo diane~
To keep on topic: I have a lot of cardinal energy in my chart as well as a uranus emphasis. I enjoy the easy sextiles and trines, I also get a kick out of hard aspects to venus and jupiter!
To keep on topic: I have a lot of cardinal energy in my chart as well as a uranus emphasis. I enjoy the easy sextiles and trines, I also get a kick out of hard aspects to venus and jupiter!
LOL! Uranus emphasis does like the occasional adrenaline rush! 😀
xo diane~